How To Spot A Tory

An easy guide:

1. They talk 'Eurosceptic' and then, when in power, give even more away
   
   
2. They pretend that their party is the true Eurosceptic one; a lie that is the Tory equivalent of a massively obese woman constantly stuffing her face full of chocolate, while delusionally claiming to her GP "I dunno why I'm so fat I only eat salads".
   
   
3. At local elections they will surround you as a UKIP candidate and lambast you for stealing 'their' votes. That they are the electorate's votes, which have to be earned, is a concept alien to them.
   
   
4. Before 2010, they recited the phrase; "wait 'till Dave gets in, then we'll see how eurosceptic he really is".
   
   
5. After 2010 and losing the election, they blame UKIP for denying them that election. (if it wasn't for you pesky UKIP people we would have won). Effectively they're the shopkeeper who blames their customers for deserting them for another shop which sells them what they want instead.
   
   
6. Lose the election and blame Tory pro-EU policies on the coalition with the Lib Dems. That they didn't have to work with the Lib Dems or indeed vote yes to every EU policy seems to escape them - career more important than principles, eh...Louise Mensch MP? Who, incidentally, enthusiastically takes issue with other people's lack of principles.
   
   
7. Faithful imitations of Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf by constantly reciting the mantra; "in Europe not ruled by it" hoping that everyone else is as stupid as they are.
   
   
8. Elects and supports a party leader who issues a very patronising and very arrogant refusal to hold an 'in or out' referendum:

   ....we had a referendum on that issue in 1975, which produced a very clear result.
   
   But a simplistic in/out referendum – posing an artificial choice that does not do justice to the range of views in the country – would be highly unlikely to settle the question of Britain’s membership of the EU at all

Nothing's changed in the 20 years I've campaigned against our membership of the EU, the same old Tory party and the same old lies.