Monday, 22 July 2013

Breaking News: A Woman Gives Birth

It was to be expected I guess that the impending birth of a royal baby would induce the very worst of media vacuousness but expectation doesn't make it any less nauseating or painful.

Naturally one would expect that the birth of a baby third in line to the throne is likely to be mentioned on the news, but the over-the-top coverage has gone beyond farcical. The Telegraph for over a week has been running "a live update" segment on its front page in anticipation coupled with a webcam that has shown nothing but a brickwall for days on end - as shown above. Revealingly it was one of its most read articles.

Given that the process of birth ("process" the word used by Nicholas Witchell) means that there isn't a lot news to report until the baby has been born has left broadcasters labouring the same points over and over again to fill the time.

A point inadvertently demonstrated by the BBC one o'clock news today. The conversation went something like this:
  • Nicholas Witchell: "We know Kate Middleton has gone into labour but I can't give you any more news until the baby is born and announced at Buckingham Palace".

  • BBC Reporter; "Ok, we'll go over to our reporter at Buckingham Palace where they're waiting for news. What can you tell us?"

  • Reporter at Buckingham Palace: "Well, we're waiting for the news to be officially announced...
Still, at least the comprehensive and saturated coverage allows stuff like this and this and this to be made public largely unnoticed.


  1. Just heard she moved her arm again and smiled at Wills. I'll be back if she moves the other one.

    1. I'm not sure she smiled at Wills...swear at him I can believe :-)

  2. I'm reasonably sure that she wasn't the first to do so and pretty confident she won't be the last.

    Still, looking on the bright side it's yet another parasitic leech hooked onto the taxpayers teat.

    By the time it's old enough to assume its place as the head of the Money 'r' us Windsor Mafia I, thankfully, will have long departed this particular orb of monstrosity.

  3. Where is Oliver Cromwell when you need him?

    1. Bit harsh on a newborn surely... :-)

    2. You have to be cruel to be kind!

    3. Oliver Cromwell is also a tyrant, so you are over throwing one tyranny while welcoming the other.

      A bit like how people welcome EU with a open arm.